A man and woman sitting on a bed holding hands and talking about BDSM play.

Novelty & VarietyAug 20, 20266 min read

Six Types of BDSM Play and the Velora Products That Fit Each One

When people ask me which BDSM product they should try, I rarely begin with the product. I usually ask, “What part of the experience interests you?”

Some people want the physical sensation of impact. Others are drawn to being unable to see, temporarily giving up control, taking on a different character or simply following a partner’s instructions.

After reviewing Velora’s collection, I chose six products for this guide. Each represents a different type of BDSM play, but the categories are starting points—not boxes that dictate what anyone should enjoy.

Research Shows That BDSM Is Not One Activity

Researchers have tried to organize the enormous range of BDSM activities.

In a study of 184 members of two Finnish clubs oriented toward sadomasochism, Alison and colleagues identified four clusters: giving or receiving pain, psychological humiliation, physical restriction and what the researchers called “hypermasculinity.” The last cluster included activities such as dildo use, rimming and cock binding. Because the sample was overwhelmingly male and drawn from a particular community, I would not treat that label as universal—or assume those activities have anything inherently masculine about them.

A later study by Weierstall and Giebel developed a 24-item checklist for dominant and submissive interests. It grouped activities into six areas: domination and submission, toys, soft play, beatings, breath play and bodily fluids.

What I find helpful about this research is not the labels themselves. It is the reminder that someone can be interested in one cluster and have no interest in another. Enjoying a blindfold does not mean someone wants pain. Enjoying restraint does not mean someone wants humiliation.

The products below therefore represent six different possibilities—not a progression from “beginner” to “advanced.”

Impact Play: Drift & Bound Paddle

The Drift & Bound Paddle fits the pain or impact-play cluster and the later checklist’s “beatings” category. Its wooden face creates a deeper thud, while the embossed leather side produces a sharper surface sensation.

Try this scene: “The Five-Stroke Conversation.”

The receiving partner chooses the body area, paddle side and maximum intensity. Begin by warming the skin with your hand. After each stroke, pause and ask for an intensity number from one to ten.

Personally, I think the pause can be more interesting than the impact. It allows anticipation to build while reminding both partners that the scene is still a conversation.

For beginners, stay on fleshy areas such as the buttocks and outer upper thighs. Avoid the spine, kidneys, joints, head and neck.

Toy-Based and Animal Roleplay: Leather Pony Tail Plug

The Leather Pony Tail Plug fits the checklist’s broad “use of toys” category. Its more specific role is animal or pony play. The leather tail can also be detached and used separately for light sensation play.

Try this scene: “The Private Dressage Lesson.”

One partner becomes the trainer. The other chooses a pony name and agrees to three simple commands, such as walk, turn and wait. The included bell marks the beginning and end of the scene.

This kind of roleplay does not need a complicated script. Sometimes temporarily becoming somebody—or something—different is enough to make familiar surroundings feel new.

For anal use, apply a generous amount of compatible lubricant and insert the plug slowly. Stop for sharp pain, numbness or bleeding. Never pull or strike the tail while the plug is inserted.

Soft Play: Blindfold Kit

The Blindfold Kit fits the “soft play” category while also introducing sensory deprivation. Taking away sight can change how ordinary touches feel without requiring pain or intense restraint.

Try this scene: “Guess the Touch.”

Before the blindfold goes on, the receiving partner approves five sensations. These might include fingertips, a feather, a cool spoon, a warm cloth and a kiss. Their partner chooses three and changes the order. The blindfolded partner tries to guess what will happen next.

I like this scene for newer partners because it is simple, intimate and easy to stop. Clear the surrounding area first and never leave a blindfolded person unattended.

Physical Restriction: Adjustable Spreader-Bar

The Adjustable Spreader-Bar clearly belongs to the physical-restriction cluster. It has four adjustable lengths and includes leather restraints.

Try this scene: “Stillness, Not Endurance.”

Begin at the narrowest comfortable setting and leave the restrained partner’s hands free. Agree on two minutes of stillness while the leading partner uses only pre-approved touch. Check comfort and circulation halfway through, and finish at the agreed time.

Ending while both partners are still comfortable can leave them looking forward to the next scene. BDSM does not become better simply because it lasts longer.

Keep the release mechanism within reach. Stop for tingling, numbness, coldness, colour changes or joint pain.

Psychological Humiliation or Speech Restriction: Ball-Gag and Bite-Gag Kit

The earlier research grouped gagging with psychological humiliation, but that does not mean everyone experiences it that way. For some people, a gag represents vulnerability, silence, display or consensual surrender.

The Ball-Gag and Bite-Gag Kit includes interchangeable silicone ball and bite attachments.

Try this scene: “The Silent Answer.”

Before using the gag, practise three signals: thumbs-up for yes, a flat hand to slow down and dropping a held object to stop. Ask several pre-agreed yes-or-no questions during a short scene while keeping the wearer’s hands free.

A gag is never a breath-play tool. Do not combine it with choking, neck compression or anything covering the nose. Remove it immediately for breathing difficulty, nausea, panic, jaw pain or loss of responsiveness.

Domination and Submission: Adjustable Collar and Leash

The Adjustable Collar and Leash fits the domination-and-submission category. A collar may symbolize guidance, belonging, ceremony or simply a temporary character. Partners should discuss its meaning instead of assuming they interpret it in the same way.

Try this scene: “Three Commands.”

The person wearing the collar chooses three acceptable commands in advance—for example, “come closer,” “look at me” and “wait here.” Their partner uses their voice and gentle leash movements to guide the scene. After the third command, the collar comes off and both people intentionally return to their everyday relationship.

Use the leash for guidance only. Never jerk it, use it to bear weight or allow it to compress the neck.

What I Learned From Watching BDSM Practised

At a rope class I attended in Canada, the most memorable part was not the knots. It was the conversation before anyone touched a rope. People discussed injuries, circulation, boundaries, release plans and what they might need afterward.

That experience reinforced something I strongly believe: a safeword is valuable, but it is not enough by itself. It can be missed, misunderstood or impossible to say—especially when someone is gagged.

Before every scene:

Agree on the activities, body areas, language, intensity and duration.
Use both a safeword and a tested nonverbal stop signal.
Check in actively instead of waiting for something to go wrong.
Keep keys and release tools immediately available.
Never leave a restrained, blindfolded or gagged partner alone.
Discuss aftercare and check in again after the scene.

For more detailed information, readers who are considering BDSM exploration can consult these Velora resources:

With a newer partner, keep the scene short and easy to stop. Do not attempt higher-risk activities such as choking or breath play. With a long-term partner, familiarity does not replace communication. Bodies, stress levels and boundaries can change from one day to the next.

The Category Is Only the Beginning

A paddle, collar or blindfold does not create the meaning of a scene—the people using it do. The most useful question may not be “Which category do we belong in?” but “What feeling do we want to explore, and how will we take care of each other while exploring it?”

Sources

Alison, L., Santtila, P., Sandnabba, N. K., & Nordling, N. (2001). Sadomasochistically Oriented Behavior: Diversity in Practice and Meaning. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 30(1), 1–12.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11286002/
Weierstall, R., & Giebel, G. (2017). The Sadomasochism Checklist: A Tool for the Assessment of Sadomasochistic Behavior. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 46(3), 735–745.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27488306/
De Neef, N., Coppens, V., Huys, W., & Morrens, M. (2019). Bondage-Discipline, Dominance-Submission and Sadomasochism (BDSM) From an Integrative Biopsychosocial Perspective: A Systematic Review. Sexual Medicine, 7(2), 129–144.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6525106/

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